"i invented an algorithm that would take me like 75 years to execute in my brain and then i'd be a chess grandmaster"

bro if you literally just sat down and learned chess like everyone else ever has you could become pretty goddamn good in less than 75 years. what is going on

"i emailed some chess AI experts who i will not name and the only proof i am going to provide is a few screenshots of emails telling me to fuck off with everything but the random-ass profile picture censored out."

i guess you got a chocoboto tell you they can't help you with your galaxy brained chess bullshit????

"I’m not sure if this computational approach to chess will ever catch on as the exclusive strategy of elite players (although, I guess it’s possible), but I can imagine elite players augmenting their games with the occasionally mental algorithmic calculation. I’d like to think that, if this works, it’s causes a bit of a stir in the chess world."

oh my goooooood get over yourself

"Anyway, if this approach to chess does catch on, I might as well give it a catchy name…

At first, I was thinking about something boring like “Human Computational Chess”, but I’m just going to commit to the more self-serving approach:

Introducing Max Chess"

im dead and chess killed me

"In fact, this is one of the biggest challenges with Chess.com: I’m only matched with real people of a similar skill level, which isn’t optimally conducive to improving."

"it's the fact that everyone else is so bad, that's why i can't improve >:("

this dude literally thinks that if you taught like a thousand people one little bit of how to do chess well, they could collectively beat a grandmaster or something. lmfao what.

screenshot of code that won't be captioned sorry


"i am a fucking algorithmic genius and can use computers to beat the greatest chess player in the world"

"lol what's a dictionary"

"This computational approach is still thrilling to me though, not because it makes the actual game more fun, but because it represents an entirely new method of playing chess."

hey dude i came up with an entirely new method of cooking where i cut all the food with a spoon. isn't this amazing. isn't this exciting!!!!! it's entirely new

"im gonna grab some random code i found on github and tweak it a bit and i'll be able to beat the best players in the world."

dude you have 10 days left in the month

this dude literally just thinks you can bruteforce literally anything lmao

he literally says how his "algorithm" was still crunching numbers when he had this match so i guess he just played like normal or something???? i dont even fucking know

"Today, I had a good idea. In fact, after some brainstorming with a friend, I figured out a surefire way to complete this month’s challenge." you have SEVEN DAYS dude

"Anyway, here’s the idea:

As I defined this month’s challenge, I need to defeat world champion Magnus Carlsen at a game of chess."


"In other words, I don’t need to defeat the Magnus Carlsen at a game of chess. I just need to defeat a Magnus Carlsen at a game of chess, as long as this Magnus Carlsen is the world champion at anything.

Firstly, after a quick search on Facebook, I found dozens of other Magnus Carlsens who would be perfect candidates for my chess match. I guess Magnus Carlsen is a reasonably popular nordic name."


"i am just going to find some random dude named magnus carlsen and beat him at chess"


ok so apparently he was just saying this as a massive waste of space and to be cheeky

"Anyway, the purpose of sharing this, other than perhaps amusing one other person, is to say that there are always many creative ways to reach you goals. Sometimes, you just need to think a little differently."

Show newer
Show newer



does he know that computational approaches to chess - including very advanced ones that can often beat human grandmasters - already exist?

@drybonesofficial its just the most awful piece of code i've ever seen. why is any of this done like this

@drybonesofficial writing this article with this snippet of code attached is like declaring yourself to be the prince of russia and then pulling your pants all the way down at the urinal

@drybonesofficial i have so many questions. what on earth is happening. why are the numbers strings.

@cecilia @drybonesofficial i only got like 2 lines into it before deciding that whatever is happening in this code, i dont want to understand it

@RussellsBarbershopQuartet @drybonesofficial he's trying to convert portable game notation into a binary representation used by people who do machine learning in chess, a problem that im certain someone else has already solved for him, likely already in the library he's using

@cecilia @drybonesofficial okay but this is still quite possibly the worst way imaginable to record game states

@RussellsBarbershopQuartet @drybonesofficial i looked it up and literally the first comment on the first result on :bing: is someone mentioning that the library he is literally using uses bitboard as an internal representation of its game states. why he didnt just slightly modify the library to expose that i have no idea

also it is, as you say, completely immaterial since even this guy acknowledges that he doesnt need to use (and really shouldnt use) bitboard for his purposes

@drybonesofficial this is amazing. i'm not sure if he just fundamentally misunderstood what a bitboard is or if he made this up as an example for his article and thought nobody would notice it made no sense whatsoever

@drybonesofficial "See, but then i wouldnt feel superior to people who actually play chess.

@drybonesofficial@redroo.ml the arrogance of claiming that he's become expert at improvised soloing and freestyling because he played a 5 minute solo and freestyled for 3 minutes, like buddy. Those are skills that it takes people years to hit their stride in, and there's a lot of people who can technically fill some stage time and still have a long ways to go before they're experts lol

@LaComtesseRouge lmfao right he just took a bunch of extremely specific activities and generalized it as "im a fuckin master at this entire field now". what a fucking arrogant shit ahaha

@drybonesofficial@redroo.ml I watched the video of his freestyle and oh my god I am s c r e a m i n g

it's so bad lmao

@drybonesofficial@redroo.ml it's for the best lol it's mixed like shit, you can barely even hear his voice over the chunky stilted piano chords he's playing

@drybonesofficial i was going to hate read this until i realized it was a fucking book

@CyclopsCaveman absolutely he is just literally never saying ANYTHING meaningful it's just jumping around different bruteforce approaches to the same problem for a month fucking straight and then losing to magnus carlsen

@drybonesofficial@redroo.ml just the title alone makes it seem like this person is going "chess? that game with centuries of study? nbd i'll just become a grandmaster in a few weeks on the weekends"

@drybonesofficial@redroo.ml this man went on to be one of the cofounders of a shitty skillshare competitor called "monthly". it's a clone of a different service, except with a name that is literally impossible to SEO.

@LaComtesseRouge @drybonesofficial@redroo.ml i purposely avoided watching that video to spare myself the psychic damage

@heartles @drybonesofficial@redroo.ml

He does the eminem accent, it's fucking terrible. Also instead of downloading a backtrack from somewhere like a normal person he plays these soft sus-y chords on the piano that sound like the music you hear when you're making a mii

@drybonesofficial i cant read it, the author's gigantic head is covering all the text

@drybonesofficial I cannot imagine being this embarrassing and not bursting into flames, holy shit.

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Red Room

R E D R O O M is a small, private instance geared toward goth weirdoes, artists and creatives, run by a queer PoC. Unofficial home of nightcrew, a roost for the bats of the fediverse.


Better red than dead.