your relationships with your friends deserve the same work you would put into relationships with your partner. we put that emotional work in for our partners because western society is super isolated and teaches you to only be dependant on yourself and the person you're in a romantic relationship with. this means you end up at least somewhat dependant on one person and you *have* to put in that work so you can like, stay financially safe and stuff
but the reality is, our friends deserve that work too. they need us too
(sorry for the rant lol but) you should tell your friends what's going on with you. you should ask "hey does it make you uncomfortable when i do this?" you should say "hey i'm sorry we haven't talked in a while. socializing is a lot of work for me and sometimes i don't have the spoons"
it's something i've noticed my queer friends do a lot and my cishet friends. don't.
@myconidiosyncrasy I mean, queer people are generally an ostracized group, so it makes sense that a lot of us have closer friendships.
@myconidiosyncrasy to be fair I have a lot of cishet friends, including cishet male friends, who absolutely do care, a lot
@anarchiv yeah, it's a huge generalization and obviously my experiences don't speak for everyone's. and like, i'm certainly not saying cishet people don't care, or don't express that they care. it may also be an nd thing as apposed to a queer thing ig, where you become used to needing to communicate very honestly w others about both ur emotional needs
@myconidiosyncrasy utter bullshit
@myconidiosyncrasy death to the idea of "emotional cheating"
Western society: you should only be dependent on yourself and your one romantic partner!
also Western society: now, you'll need a job at a for-profit corporation, and a bank account, also with a for-profit corporation, health insurance…
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