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i'm no psychologist but everyone i know is lowkey surpressing the urge to tear up every piece of paperwork in their house and smash most of their electronic devices and run away into the night and the woods for as long as they possibly can and i /do/ think that's a problem

it's all just too much and we all talk about how it's too much, how there's too much going on and we just want a break. but on a fundamental level i don't think any of us are forgiving ourselves for failing to manage it all

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we all just want to shut our eyes for a moment or two but everytime we do we fail to complete some other task we desperately needed to finish and we're socially and/or fiscally punished for doing so and we get poorer and more exhausted and it all snowballs and like. we all want to quit but no one else is quitting so we can't

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i never want to read an email again. i just want to go build a hut in the woods and talk to birds. but i can't do that it would be illegal which is pretty cool and definitely the sign of an efficient and healthy society

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@myconidiosyncrasy ugh mood

the only emails i ever want to read are the ones i address to myself

@myconidiosyncrasy is the problem that we have the urges or is the problem that we're not already doing it

@nova i think the problem is that *everyone* is feeling the urge to do that. i think that there will always be people who have the urge to do that and should be allowed to do so, but on the other hand i think most of us *want* to participate in our community and build long lasting connections and work with people but capitalism has made every single one of those things so unbearable everyone just wants some fucking release from it

@myconidiosyncrasy yeah. those things definitely keep getting harder all the time.

@nova it's so upsetting to think about. why is the idea of spending time with a family i love exhausting?? why do i feel guilty whenever i create art that won't make money?? why does the idea of making new friends seem far fetched and difficult?? how deep and damaging is our culture-wide fatigue that it's making things we naturally want to do feel miserable and unattainable

@myconidiosyncrasy yeah. i have been thinking about this a lot too. especially how community is something everyone so desperately needs. like, in part, a community should be a place that lets you rest when you need to so that you have the capacity to keep contributing to it. but if you want community you basically have to do a heroic amount of work to make anything real and lasting and the people who need it most are most unable to do that work. idk how to fix it other than just doing as much of the work as i can and sharing whatever comes out of that with whoever i can. but it feels so patchwork and inadequate.

depressing stuff probs 

@nova we've reached the point where positive change even in our *own personal lives* let alone on a community or society wide basis, requires devastating sacrifice and an unfathomable amount of work if it's even possible and i don't know how to move past that honestly. i feel completely paralyzed by it

@myconidiosyncrasy My urge is more to build a stock of Molotov cocktails and visit the houses of the powerful, but it still needs to be suppressed for now.

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Red Room

R E D R O O M is a small, private instance geared toward goth weirdoes, artists and creatives, run by a queer PoC. Unofficial home of nightcrew, a roost for the bats of the fediverse.

Better red than dead.