the entire gender problem isn't exactly "people are mistakenly assigned one gender when really they fit the qualifications for another" it's believing that you can be arbiter of what makes one qualify for a certain gender. it's believing that gender has a static definition
for one woman having a vagina may be integral to her womanhood, and that's absolutely fine. the problem comes in when she tries to tell /other women/ that they need to have (or need to want, as in the case of some transmedicalists) a vagina to be a woman
i love having facial hair. it's incredibly gender euphoric for me. it's a part of my masculinity i'm overjoyed i get to express now. but does that mean i think facial hair has some innate connection with masculinity?? that having or wanting facial hair is innately masculine for everyone? god no
so you get terfs and other transphobes getting all fucking up in arms with like "how *do* you know you're a woman then??? if it doesn't have anything to do with Genitals and it doesn't have anything to do with Feminine Gender Norms, then it means nothing!! checkmate!" when the answer is like, actually it could have to do with both or either? or yes, it could have to do with neither one of those.
demanding someone define what manhood/womanhood is, in order to justify their being a man/woman, is a trick question. because anything you say will be met with "oh so you admit to being gender essentialist??" terfs and other transphobes *purposefully* take our very personal reasons for id'ing with a gender and act like we believe those are mandates for /everyone/
The bizarre thing about that is that terfs themselves are incredibly gender essentialist and lately they've been more blatantly racist (I saw one describe "lighter skin" as a "feminine" trait). They have inconsistent definitions of maleness and femaleness so they can justify being assholes. I have inconsistent definitions of maleness and femaleness so I can respect as many people's genders as possible. We are not the same
@winter no one from the outside ever sees them engage in arguments that they "lose", and their constant insistence that barely substantiated sociological theories and over simplified medical info are "logic and facts" makes them look like they actually are approaching this with reason, not just struggling to uphold a crumbling binary system lol
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