in news that shocks cis people everywhere; trans people don't want to date you if you aren't attracted to them

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trans, attraction, rant, 1/? 

when trans people go "i am a woman, attraction to me is gay for women" or "please don't rule me out of the dating pool for male attracted people just bc i am not cis" what cis people hear is "in order to acknowledge this persons gender, i must feel attraction to them" and when they don't feel attraction, they go "well i won't acknowledge their gender then". to reiterate an ancient fucking point in the queer community; we don't choose who we feel physical attraction to

trans, attraction, rant, 2/? 

no trans person wants you to pretend you're attracted to us lmao that's fucked up. trans people are also perfectly, Painfully aware that just because you're attracted to people of our gender, doesn't mean you'll experience attraction to trans people of our gender. and while that *is* painful to some of us, That is not the problem

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trans, attraction, rant, 3/? 

the problems are the following:
first: you think you know what trans people look like. you don't. you may have experienced attraction to a trans person before without realizing it. to say "i am not attracted to trans people" is based on your perception of what you think we are like

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trans, attraction, rant, 4/? 

to which i think a lot of cis people would respond "well i don't think i would be attracted to them after learning they had a penis/vagina" which is not necessarily true but brings me to two: you think you know how sex with a trans person works. you could have sex with a trans person and never realize they are trans. you have no idea which trans people have had grs, you have no idea /how/ trans people like to have sex. if they're comfortable with using their (cont)

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trans, attraction, rant, sex 5/? 

genitals or if they prefer oral/anal/toys etc. would you say "i'm not attracted to people who have trauma that prevents them from doing certan sex acts"? would you say "i am not attracted to people who have [fetish]" no lol that's not how attraction works. if you make it to the bedroom you May Very Well Find you are sexually incompatible with someone. ur kinks might not mesh, one of u could be too ace for the other, you might be really uncomfortable with vaginas

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trans, attraction, rant, sex 6/? 

these are not problems, but they are also unrelated to attraction. they are the myriad of physical and mental attributes all people have not necessarily aligning with the other people's needs. if you are attracted to a person but discover you are sexually incompatible with them, that's fine. however i so think this is more rare than people think, but that's another rant

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trans, attraction, rant, 7/? 

the final, and most important problem: regardless of whether you personally want to have sex with trans people or not, It Is Not Your Place To Decide That For Other People. the behavior that most of us really angry about, is accusations that dating a trans person mean you have a different sexuality than you claim. that straight people who date trans people are gay, gay people who date trans ppl are straight

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trans, attraction, rant, 8/? 

people often try to argue this point by going "well i don't know any straight men attracted to trans women" etc. not only is this line of thinking just hilariously blatantly false (you don't know who ur friends are attracted to and ur peers are not universal evidence of sociological truthes anyway), it does Not account for trans people who date other trans people which is arguably The Majority Of What Fucking Happens

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trans, attraction, rant, summary, 9/? 

so yeah in closing lol;
-you don't have to be attracted to trans people
-you don't know that you're just "not attracted to trans people" because you cannot id them on sight
-you don't know what genitals a trans person has or how they will have sex with them
-trans people likely don't want to date you!! probably the majority of trans people are mostly interested in dating other trans/queer people anyway

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trans, attraction, rant, summary, 10/10 

so like yeah, before you feel guilty for not feeling attraction to a trans person or go on a rant about how you shouldn't feel obligated to, please please take a deep breath and consider that all trans people are saying is "don't make assumptions about our bodies/behavior" and "don't invalidate other people's identities for dating trans folks". ok thanks

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trans, attraction, rant, 2/? 

@myconidiosyncrasy do these people think that if a straight cis guy isn't attracted to them, they aren't a woman??

re: trans, attraction, rant, 8/? 

@myconidiosyncrasy id also say to ppl who say that, "yeahh tho men who are attracted to trans women almost universally hide the fact, in part BECAUSE of attitudes like this. look at their search history bro"

re: trans, attraction, rant, 8/? 

@julia YES. god. this is like the whole "well i don't know anyone who's gay" like lmfao wonder why

trans, attraction, rant, summary, 10/10 

@myconidiosyncrasy
Good read -snap snap snap-

trans, attraction, rant, summary, 9/? 

@myconidiosyncrasy Honestly, cis people who are like "I'm attracted to trans people" are just fetishist most of the time.
As far as I'm concerned, I just want to be attractive like any other men, that's all. Not thanks to my transness (and not thanks to my fatness, but it's another story lmao)

trans, attraction, rant, sex 5/? 

@myconidiosyncrasy I'm pretty sure some people would say that

trans, attraction, rant, 4/? 

@myconidiosyncrasy I like this thread, but also the placement of "comfortable with using their (cont)" did give me a giggle

trans, attraction, rant, 4/? 

@CornishRepublicanArmy hot new name for transmasc junk

transphobia anecdote re: trans, attraction, rant, 1/? 

@myconidiosyncrasy ugh this reminds me of when I was first coming out as trans and several cis people I knew went out of their way to tell me that they would acknowledge me as my gender but they weren’t attracted to me because I’m trans and uhhhh wtf? I didn’t ask? also bold of them to assume I was into them??? wow

re: trans, attraction, rant 

@myconidiosyncrasy my family (who think I'm cis) make jokes sometimes about how "oh, shooshy doesn't like vaginas! He's gay" and I finally at one point said "I would have no problem dating or having sex with a man who had a vagina, if he was comfortable with that" and they weren't sure what to say

trans, attraction, rant, 1/? 

lb: this entire thread is v good

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