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maybe a hot trans take 

i kind of hate posts that are like “cis people don’t question their gender so you must be trans” what’s wrong with cis people questioning their gender and/or experimenting and deciding that they are in fact cis. i think cis people should be encouraged to think about their gender. and just bc someone does doesn’t mean they are trans

maybe a hot trans take 

the cis people in my life who are the most supportive of me are the ones who have openly considered their gender and what it means to them to be a man or a woman. they have a broader understanding of themselves and of the world around them. and are more inclined to listen to trans issues or feelings and be like, yea that makes sense

maybe a hot trans take 

@shade in my head I call those the Post-Cis (like post punk), like… actually processed and their cisness is validated like a parking slip 😂

def agree that questioning does NOT equal transness… just if someone is repeatedly questioning, keeps coming back to the question, has anxiety about the answer to the question, etc to where it’s pervasive, THEN it’s like “okay there’s probably something to it friend”

maybe a hot trans take 

@hammerhead lmao fantastic i love that

but yea for sure. i just think trans people do too much questioning for other people and frankly it really bothers me. especially bc many trans people would be upset if someone questioned their gender. i love having gender talks with my cis sister, she gets it as much as any of my trans pals. i think it’s really important to normalize that “questioning” among everyone not just people who might be trans

maybe a hot trans take 

@hammerhead @shade I think even then it's pretty individual. Like, I've had a few patches of trying to think through my gender, but usually it tends to happen when I'm depressed/anxious anyway and seeing trans friends who have senses of euphoria about their bodies when I feel miserable or uncomfy in mine can trigger a certain recurrent anxiety about whether I'm doing gender wrong? But at the end of the day, I've never ended up concluding I'm not a man.

maybe a hot trans take 

@hammerhead @shade Like, truly I'd like my body and gender to all work, but the problem there is that I, and masculinity, are both broken in places and don't always agree, not that I'm something else. In my "is there something else" patches I don't pick out being more feminine as being more desirable than say being a squid person: they're both just "hey, that's not this" in my brain's assessment, and when I'm happier I mostly stop worrying about it.

maybe a hot trans take 

@hammerhead @shade Anyway, sorry, over analytical cis man thought dump there, probably not very interesting but seemed half relevant.

maybe a hot trans take 

@JubalBarca @shade dysmorphia is so real and serious, that and the narrowness of the roles themselves definitely tracks as a reason the question can keep coming up!

maybe a hot trans take 

@shade This is all true, but it’s also true that “am I really trans/am I trans enough” are common ways for internalised transphobia to manifest, and it helps to put a bit of encouragement out there for people who need it. Tone and context do make a lot of difference, though

maybe a hot trans take 

@ghost_bird yea i mean i’m always wondering if i am trans enough so i get that but i’m talking more on egg culture and how many trans people will jump to assume someone they don’t know is trans based on their own personal experience. i don’t think posts like that are helpful in a broad sense unless you’re speaking directly to someone but maybe that’s just me

maybe a hot trans take 

@shade I think generalised posts like that were helpful to me when I was figuring things out - along with a lot of other things, admittedly.

Idk, I’m conflicted because I think many trans communities are too reticent about putting information out there or giving advice because they don’t want to be seen as recruiting, but I also think it’s counter-productive to start dividing people into just trans and cis with no room for complexity

maybe a hot trans take 

@ghost_bird that’s fair. and i agree with that second point. it’s why i always try to be open about talking to my cis friends and family about transness and gender. i think there is this mental block that cis people have too, they just don’t wanna rock the boat even if they are supportive of trans people. but i think that introspection is good and healthy and i wish more people would think about it

maybe a hot trans take 

@shade Well, and that’s definitely true. But I can’t help but think of Kate Bornstein’s Gender Workbook, which is aimed so heavily towards encouraging introspection in cis people that that to my mind it ends up counterproductive for anyone who’s already questioning

maybe a hot trans take 

@ghost_bird yea when i looked at that book it definitely did nothing for me. i thought i was the only one tbh haha. i think there is a bit of a difference between, thinking about your gender and questioning it and there should be resources for both instead of the assumption that they look the same. talking i think is the most helpful but it’s really only beneficial if all parties involved are coming at the convo openly and in good faith

@shade I’m the most normal neurotypical allocishetest man on here 😈

maybe a hot trans take 

@shade exactly. I have a cis friend who explored his gender and thought he might be nb for a while before deconstructing masculinity for himself, and honestly? More power to him, and he's always been very considerate about not speaking over trans people

maybe a hot trans take 

@shade My very cis girlf spent a year or more questioning whether she was a girl or not and honestly she has one of the most healthy grasps of her own gender that I've seen not just from cis people but in general and it makes me way more comfortable talking to her about gender stuff and I trust her opinions on gender stuff a lot more than most cis people too

Questioning is good and healthy even if you end up back where you started!!

maybe a hot trans take 

@witchfynder_finder yes!!! my sis was the same. and i had a lot of conversations with my mom too like what she thinks it means to be a woman that helped her better understand gender and herself. it’s cool to have that introspection and i think if more people were open to it it could take chunks out of the idea that cis is the default

maybe a hot trans take 

@shade this. Hundred times this

maybe a hot trans take 

@shade I'm cis and I've literally questioned whether or not I was non-binary or not. I always come back to the same answer that I just love to embrace my feminine side while always identifying as male. I'd love for someone to say this to my face so my ally powers could activate.

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